---
title: Green Again
brief: A little reflection and update on how we are feeling, in the ongoing bits of life
type: blog
tags:
    - personal
    - real_life
    - reflection
preview_image: https://lucidragons.de/blog/2025/2025_05_16_green.png
---

Today we noticed that the forest once again looks ... Green. And smells of garlic. It's a thing that happened last year, and the year before...
And it feels very good to recognize that, actually.

Realizing that we could recognize the forest's seasons already was a thing that gave us pause last year, and [we wrote about that here](/blog/2025/2025_05_16_recognition.md). Last year, it marked the *start* of us feeling like we could settle. To finally notice that we would soon be able to at least grasp at consistency.

There was a lot... A ... *lot* of things left to reflect on after that. An entire year's worth, actually, so ... Feel free to read the other blog post entires, tehe.

What strikes me as different this year, right now, though, is a change in attitude. A good one!
The haste and desperation of needing to create ... Are leaving. Instead, we are gaining a trust, an understanding that more good days are around the corner. We needn't push ourselves toward them ... they will happen. We have seen the forest's seasons before, and are *getting to see them again*. Last year we still had to *hope* we would see them next year, and now we *know*.

Things still aren't quite right. We're still a bit out of sleep rhythm, we're still not back into art or programming. But we made huge progress, too - with the fursuit, with ~~trying to~~ improve sleep, and with vital personal rhythms like sports. Heck, we've even started to find more connection with local furry groups <3

And with each step we get to take, we see more and more familiar things. Less energy is needed to go through the basics of life, or to handle work, and we have greater confidence that we can, in fact, handle this.

Slow ... We are still very slow. But we *are* moving, and we are building a trust in that motion.
And... Right now, that makes me really, really happy.

I wanna hug old me. Not knowing how to handle *being in the same place for a while*, all those issues of trust in when and where we'll be ... In reflection, that was incredibly hard. So now? Let's just see what the future holds. Gently and patiently :)


Honour the past, savour the present, shape the future,
  Xasin