One year down ... A fresh one to come

Just like last year, I want to take a moment to reminisce on how the days went by. What happened, how it reflected with what we wrote we'd hope to happen, and ... Where we are now.

As you can read in the aforementioned post, 2025 started coming from a time of big, busy moving about, all sorts of exciting new changes in life that would make anyone's head spin. I know they sure spun ours. I ended that post with the following quote:

2025 is coming at us with an unprecedented stability, finanically, emotionally, and home-wise. With lots more room for us to hopefully get going on our Fursuit, Lucy. All of this feels really good... And we feel like we can finally do something. It definitely won't be long before there will be much bigger changes for our Fursuit, art, and this website, just wait~

... It's not entirely wrong! But ... I didn't realize just how much settling was left to do. And processing. Yes, our job and location remained static, but our mind kept working a whole lot - throughout the entire year.

So, for my own sake, let's give ourselves a bit of reflection to see where we came from:

The early months of upwards energy

The early months of 2025 actually started with a pleasant feeling of motion! Things were moving alright with our job, despite the somewhat self-consuming pile of paperwork at our workplace. Our 3D printer was working well and getting upgrades, and we even played with website ideas! We did things, nibbled on tasks...

There were some rough spots, too, such as a bizarre encounters with right-wingers. And mentally, we did start processing, started to feel like we are reconnecting with our environment again. I think our mind was juuuust about recognizing it could start shaking itself free, hehe.

It wasn't all easy, and a bit busy with figuring stuff out, but ... It worked OK.

The mid-months of ... Processing

I think somewhen during early summer though, our mentality took a hit. Nobody really tells you how much time a mind needs to settle into a more complex job, to get a handle on the paperwork, the procedures... The responsibilities that slowly get added up to you. They're all manageable, yes, but they all feel so ... new. It takes time to get a grip on them, you're constantly on edge about messing up (or at least I am). Especially writing paper(s) turned out to be a weird experience - one that felt very unguided and tough to get into, which led to a lot of stress and friction. None of which was warranted, by the way - nobody expected perfection, nor was anyone putting on pressure about it. Actually, almost all our endeavours went ... Reasonably to really well. Even the prototype electronics we built worked nearly first try! But ... With a nervous brain like this, things can still spiral when security is lacking.

It led to a few months during which I was very glad to have supportive friends and family, as well as a university counselling. It was one last bigger batch of change to work through, and this was a tough one ... Especially as I was still grieving the loss of past "homes", slowly healing from that, while faced with all the complexities of a full job.

I didn't get much done in terms of personal items. Not much art... Not much sleep, not regular at least, but ... In hindsight, I can only stress how important it was to just get these thoughts out.

The latter months of ... Rebuilding

All of this slowly and finally started clearing out old rubble in this 'ole brain. Oohh, things weren't alright yet, but there was enough space to start working on things again.

And so, thanks to our good friend Pixel, we got to suit for the first time ever!, and it really blasted our entire dopamine receptors. I mean, absolutely gone, haha. I think it was the combination of finally starting to have mental free space again and this absolutely powerful experience of suiting that finally flipped some switch in this brain to get moving again.

In just the months since September, we

• Got a sewing machine
  • And successfully learned to sew!
• Started working on actual Fursuit test pieces
• Picked up a LOT of motivation to tackle new things again
  • And some new tools and daring
• Learned to do things, maybe a bit stupidly, but still better than doing nothing
• And started being more socially active

There were some hiccups and backfiring. Fuck ... I'm gonna be honest, I don't really know what other remaining bits of mental rubble are waiting to be dug out. They keep tumbling out as we push back into the creative mental lands we used to live in, and I've already encountered a few things within relationships... But they're overdue to be evicted, now :P

2026 coming up

This new year is coming up much fresher now. Our mind has had time to decompress ... Not only do we have plans, like so many years before, but we have a start. And results. Tangible, wearable... Loveable. And we have a home. One that is starting to feel ... Known, and comfortable. And where I am starting to believe that we ... Actually get to stay here.

I'm not going to say it'll be easy, haha. But I am looking forward to this year, a lot more than before. And I have a certain layer of trust in ourselves back. And a fire that wants to create. It's... Exciting.

It feels good to have a home. But even better to have a goal, now.

Keep an eye out for us on the dancefloor.

Excitedly into the future, Xasin